Auditorium
by HeyThereTwyla
Summary: ALL HUMAN! Edward, Bella, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett are trying to think of something productive to do after a long day of school. Rated T just in case.


**Sorry guys for reposting, I had to make some changes, thanks to Tassel for commenting on that!**

**EAJREB**

AUDITORIUM

"Auditorium…" Edward tried to look at his finger tapping on his chin. Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rose, Bella and Emmett all sat in the Cullens' back yard after a long day of school. They were exhausted.

"It's just a word Edward." Alice giggled at his cross-eyed expression. Their English teacher said their homework assignment was to find a word that rhymed with Auditorium and Orange, and what was the difference between the two.

"But what does it rhyme with? How is there a difference?" Edward asked.

"Why do you think it's called the auditorium?"

"Because you audit… tion… oh, you audition!"

"Then what does 'torium' mean?"

"Maybe if we made a rhyme, we could figure it out." Edward was still thinking.

Jasper looked at Edward, somewhat amused. "That could work."

So they all agreed, and Alice started off.

"Tori… um."

"Stop acting dumb."

"Oh that just rhymed! Where's my rum?"

"Eh, no. Eh-eh-eh-eh, no."

"Chill-ax dude… you're messin' up the fro."

"Hey…. Man… why'd ya leave me hangin'?"

"Sorry, couldn't hear you 'cause those dang girls were singin' –"

"Love shock! Baby love shock!"

"Ooo! I booed them off the stage so they put me on the spot."

"Couldn't think of what to say so I called my man up –"

"Dock…"

"Put the phone to my ear and couldn't hear a word."

"Then I slammed it down, fed up, and called him a –"

"Jasper! -"

"So I called my other friend, to see if she was _busy_."

"It wrung three times 'til I found that it was _Izzy_."

"Izzy… Izzy… chillin' up in Philly."

"Said she had to work; has two jobs to make some Billies."

"I spoke to her boss; asked him where's the change?"

"He laughed in my ear, couldn't hear and said 'You rang?'"

"Too late, too late, I was already there."

"In the car with Rose and her shopping bags near."

"We got out the car, kinda breathing all heavy."

"I was scared to death until I saw a nice Chevy."

"Rose waltzed in the building, really fed up and hungry."

"Went to get some food, but it was smellin' kinda funky."

"Forgot all about it; if she took a bite of that."

"She'd be locked in the bathroom, pooping rocks as big as rats."

"She ran through the halls, only thinkin 'bout Bella."

"Had gone to open the door until she saw a nice fella."

"He asked her to dinner, so she asked for his cash."

"Said, 'Sorry 'bout that Bella; didn't kick that mans –"

"Rose!"

"Alice came up and ran right through the door."

"Left a big hole and wood chucks on the floor."

"She turned the right corner and ran into a hobo."

"And backed away slowly 'cause hobo's are a no-go."

"Emmett came in, and ran right into her."

"Made her laugh and laugh until she spit out a booger."

"It flew out of her nose, and landed on Rose."

"She flinged it on Em, which turned to-"

"M&M's."

"He licked them up clean, and Edward was disgusted."

"He didn't even know all he could think right now were cusses."

"Something didn't feel right, so they all turned around."

"Saw a shocking surprise of Bella on the ground."

"The Fella named Bob held her at gun point."

"Put his finger on the trigger and said he'd blow this joint."

"Edward tried to stop him, which was a big mistake."

"Bob had pulled the trigger; which made his heart ache."

"But it rained tiny bubbles, all one by one."

"But the show wasn't over, the fun had just begun."

"The stage curtains dropped and the crowd went wild."

"They all gathered hands – except Bob – and smiled."

"It was a tough decision, but all worth while."

"The crowd threw flowers and they all bowed."

"The curtains closed again, now that the show was over."

"Bella's stage fright couldn't hold off any longer."

"They all gathered 'round, they had so much fun."

"Now that they found a word to rhyme with Auditorium."

"Now… what word rhymes with orange?"

**EAJREB**

**Hope you all liked it! I had to get my mind off all the drama and sadness of my other story. Please Review!**


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